Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
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i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
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Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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