Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
