dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
