my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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