As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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