His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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