Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
