You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
