At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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