I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
