Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
