Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
