But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
