Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
