yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
