i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
