Pappa wants mamma naked
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
