Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
