If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize