brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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