playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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