hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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