Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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