So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
A+ Viking dick
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Text me some of your sweat
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize