Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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