Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
