I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Let's get the cat blown out
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
