Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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