tell your sister to shave her snatch
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder