Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...