They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
