Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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