The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
