why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
