So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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