I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
