i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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