Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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