She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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