No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.