how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
