discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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