Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
