allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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