Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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