Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
