I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
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I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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