Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
