Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
