very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Fuck appropriateness.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
