Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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