Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
