New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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