the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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