She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
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he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
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Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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