just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize