If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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