Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
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we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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