goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
