btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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