I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she told me i tasted like america
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize